The holiday is celebrated by burning oil. Obama administration officials have announced a global warming Hanukah tax to combat this pressing issue. He will allow limited drilling for olives in coastal areas.
For the last two days the northeast has been buried in record snowstorms and cold temperatures. To keep the heat up at the UN, the IPCC burned its last predictions on global warming.
Addressing gun advocates, Obama said, "do not worry, you and your guns are safe." Wasn't that their argument against gun control all along? Of course, they are safe. THEY HAVE GUNS!
Oil prices dropped to record lows. Anti - Bush forces claimed that high prices were engineered by Bush. What will they say about record low prices? I know, more Bush incompetence.
Obama announced that the economy will get worse before it gets better. Sure, now you tell us, after we elected you.
The Iranian government announced their disappointment that Obama is preparing to follow the same disappointing policies of the past. More outpouring of world love and affection for Obama's election. MSNBC reporters were dumbfounded.
Biden said today, "To President Elect Obama I said that I want a commitment from you that in every important decision you'll make, every critical decision, economic and political as well as foreign policy, I'll get to be in the room. Every single solitary appointment he has made thus far, I have been in the room, the recommendations I have made in most cases, coincidentally, have been the recommendations that he's picked, not because I made them, but because we think a lot alike." Then he said, "coincidentally, when I told President-Elect Obama to get me a cup of coffee, he brought it right away. We were thinking the same thing."
Obama responded that even though he had been there daily for each meeting, he had no idea what Biden was saying. Welcome to our world, Mr. President Elect.
Reverend Wright was not invited to make an invocation at the inauguration. He has been close to Obama for 20 years, but Obama is afraid to have him around. Wright said something about Obama being too chicken to let him roost.
Farrakhan also was not invited. He said he would watch the proceedings from the mother spaceship hovering over Washington. He'll have the Honorable Elijah Mohammed hover nice and close.
Obama is taking a lot of heat for selecting Rick Warren to give the invocation. We know that Obama is extremely discriminating about choosing his religious spokesmen. Gays are saying that Rev. Warren is extremely anti-gay. They got the impression when he began his last sermon, "G-d bless homosexuals? No, No, No!!! ..."
The reverend also cringed at references to the scandal around filling Obama's seat.
Biden said the measure of economic success in an Obama administration would be whether the middle class was growing. Then he added, as rich families join the ranks of the middle class, it should grow even more.
Today the Obama team announced, regarding the scandal around Illinois governor, Rod Blagojevitch, exactly who was responsible for Blago's haircut. Repercussions could be harsh.
In order to get in touch with the middle class, Obama is celebrating the holidays the way that every middle class family does. He went to vacation in Hawaii for, like, the 4th time this year. In all fairness, he was born in Hawaii. He lived there for a few months as a baby. The place is like home to him.
As we all know, Hawaii was the 50th state to join the union. The President Elect says that one of his first priorities when he enters office is to find out what the Bush administration did with the other 7 states.
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